Anyway, some days I'm struck by powerful lessons and today's was wonderful and I feel a need to share it. I'm going to copy this morning's exact journal entry here as a way of bearing my testimony, which also helps to strengthen it (I'm giving up my exercise time to do this because it means that much to me). Notice the total change in direction my entry took - a wonderful sign that my Father was, as I asked, guiding my thoughts to things that would bring me closer to Him (Note: any emphasis added to scripture references is, of course, mine). Most of this is so extremely personal, I can't believe I'm blogging it. But I feel like I should, so I do it willingly.
"Wednesday August 8, 2012
Reading this morning Alma chapter 5 - part of it. In the previous chapter, Alma left the judgement seat to devote himself full-time to preaching the gospel. Chapter 5 is his own transcript (or pre-prepared notes?) of what he taught, which I think is awesome.
He begins with a recap of what his people have been through since the time of his father. They were in captivity to begin with - the captivity of sin, taught by King Noah and his priests. Alma believed the words of Abinadi and fled King Noah to teach the people.
Alma asks his people if they remembered what God did for their fathers. He uses one of the most beautiful phrases in all of scripture, in my opinion. "Behold, he changed their hearts, yea, he awakened them out of a deep sleep, and they woke unto God." (v. 7) I love that phrase - it describes perfectly what happens when we, like the Prodigal son, "come unto ourselves." We awake - and God is there, waiting. What miraculous love, to sit patiently while we slumber, so that we can awake to Him.
Alma asks, "...were they destroyed?" They were obviously gross sinners - was that the end? "Behold, I say unto you, nay, they were not." (v.8)
(v.9) "And again, I ask, were the bands of death broken, and the chains of hell which encircled them about, were they loosed? I say unto you, Yea, they were loosed, and their souls did expand, and they did sing redeeming love. And I say unto you that they are saved."
I'm going to sidetrack for a minute. I pray before I read to ask the Lord to guide my thoughts while I read and write and I just had my mind go to the story of the ten lepers in the Bible. Here is how I feel it relates. As soon as the chains of hell were loosed from the people of Alma, "their souls did expand." I have a mental image of a prisoner with chains around his body - the chains fall and his lungs expand with the ability to breathe fully after all that time in chains. Much the same way, when the - not literal, but very real - chains fell away from the people of Alma, their souls expanded - they were FREE in every real way. They used those first few breaths of freedom to sing redeeming love - songs of praise and love and joy AND THANKS.
The Lord healed ten lepers. Only one returned on his whole and healthy legs, to say thank you to his Savior. The Lord was clearly pleased with this humble brother - but He was also clearly hurt by the ingratitude of the other nine. Did He punish them? No. Did their leprosy return? No. In charity and love He mourned for them. And notice - only the one who returned to give thanks got a private interview with, and a personal blessing from, Christ himself.
As an aside, having just re-read the passage, I love the parallels to my own journey of repentance - they plead with Him from afar off, He sends them to "shew themselves unto the priests [bishops]," and as they went, they were cleansed.
Let me not be one of the nine who were so caught up in the gift they received that they did not return to give thanks. Let me not become as the people of Alma the Younger who had forgotten their history and their previous experiences. I have my own captivity to remember. My own blindness. My own chains. My own deep sleep. And though, like the scriptural Prodigal, I was "a long way off," the Lord - my Savior, my Brother, never took His eyes off of me. He waited by my side while I slumbered - just waited for the moment I would wake, so that I could wake unto God. [note to readers: this is where I started bawling]
He healed me, AGAIN. He loosed my chains, AGAIN. I'm so thankful for another chance to sing redeeming love. So thankful for the patience, the love, the determination, of my loving Father. So thankful for the battles fought for me by His Son, my Savior. Thankful not only for His willingness to suffer for me, to shed his blood for me, to experience sin and pain that belong to ME, to shoulder them willingly, to be nailed to them and die upon them - but thankful for His willingness to LIVE for me. To walk before me and light the way, to leave His example for me, to encounter and change and love and heal other stubborn, imperfect people just like me, so that I can see myself in them and recognize His hand in my life.
I'm thankful that when I ask my Father to guide my mind, He does it, and sends me a blessed reminder of all I have to be thankful for - mostly my own redemption, my own wake-up call, my own loving Savior with His arms around me, always loving me and standing by, waiting to bless me.
Hallelujah.
- H"
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